Saturday, September 11, 2010

PART LII - LITTLE GREEN MINERS

Nameless One Jr wandered through the tunnels, looking at the rocks and whistling `Download' by Skinny Puppy. He stopped when he saw a group of small green balls bouncing up and down on the rocks, slowly digging a new tunnel.

"Have any of you seen my father?"

The chief ball bounced over to him. "What's his name?"

"He doesn't have one."

"No one with no name around here. Get lost, kid." He went back to mining.

"But I already am lost."

The balls just kept bouncing and ignored Nameless jr., so he wandered on down the tunnel and found nothing remarkable, until he came across a small gem sitting on the floor. The gem was foreign to this planet and, yes, even this galaxy. Nameless jr. picked it up, not realizing (because he didn't know), that it was the GEM OF KARNATH.

"Put me down, you greasy air-breather you."

Nameless One jr. dropped the gem and stepped back.

"Obedient, aren't you."

"Have you seen my father?"

"What do I look like, a lost and found? Go find him yourself, you whiney freak."

"Hey... my Dad says... you should be nice to people you meet... you know why?"

"No, why?"

"Because... they might have a gun... and kill you."

"Oh. Do you have a gun?"

Nameless One Jr. pulled out a water pistol.

"Oooh, scary."

"It's a gun."

"Well, I don't have to be nice to creatures of any kind because I'm the GEM OF KARNATH!" (an orchestra played stirring music in the background.)

"You're just a rock."

"Just a rock?! Kid, that's like saying the Dark One is just a dude who doesn't like the lights. I'm a very sophisticated rock."

"Yeah... but you're still a rock."

"Yes... wonderful, isn't it?"

"Well... what do you do?"

"Wha... I'm the GEM OF KARNATH!" (more stirring music) "Isn't that enough?"

"No... in school... if you said that... it would only answer the first blank."

"Hmm, guess I'll have to come up with something more impressive."

"Do you do windows?"

"No, but I have done a water heater... what do my sexual habits have to do with it?"

"Huh?"

"Go away, brat."

"Okay." Nameless One Jr. started walking down the tunnel.

"Hey, where ya goin?"

"You told me to go away."

"That was rhetorical."

"Oh. What's that?"

"Well, it's... never mind. Where are you going?"

"I'm looking for my father, The Nameless One."

"Catchy handle. Well don't just stand there, take me with you."

"But you said..."

"Said schmaid, you think I want to stay here?!"

Nameless One Jr looked around. "Why not?"

"Just pick me up, you snot nosed..."

"I do not have a snotty nose... cause I picked it..."

"I don't want to hear about it."

"I wasn't going to tell you about it anyway."

"Thank god. Are we going now or what?"

"Sure!"

Nameless One jr picked up the gem again, and they became the best of friends, which is coincidental to the conclusion of this part.

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