Still glossy eyed, she couldn't believe the things she had seen and now... where was she?
It was a beautiful summer day, or would have been, had there been any vegetation visible anywhere. Even some mould would have cheered things up, a little. Just a little, mind. Ms. Vickers was not what one might call a fungus fan.
Beyond the lack of vegetation, there was a complete void of water or any fluid as far as the eye could see. Not even a comforting mirage.
There was, however, a pretty snazzy radio sitting on a rock nearby.
"Hmmmm, let's see what's playing." She reached for the power button.
Forty billion volts coursed through her body, and Ms. Vickers discovered two things: there was a short in the radio, and this world, wherever it was, used a positively ridiculous amount of current.
The blast sent her flying back into a pile of dirt. She lay there, stunned, feeling parts of her body float away on the breeze. It wasn't nearly as unpleasant as she had expected, all things considered.
A few more lightning bolts from the radio and a station kicked in. A band, in some parts of the galaxy known as GWAR, but in this part of universe was really known as GAWR. "Filthy Flow" wafted out of the giga-watt mono speaker - a little light on bass - and the lyrics appalled Ms. Vickers. "I am dirt/ And dirt is me/ Never felt so goddamn filthy."
"My God, what atrocious manners!" she exclaimed, climbing up from the ground. She brushed herself off. "Dear God, look at me!"
KDAmery turned to CWBorysowich. "Do you hear someone calling us?"
"Keep quiet, maybe they'll go away."
Ms. Vickers was covered in ashes - which used to be her clothes - and dirt - which used to be who knows what. Had she been able to take the whole scene in, she would have noted that her hair was standing up like a porcupine's quills, and that her skin looked like an overdone hotdog, but someone was merciful enough not to leave a mirror lying around.
CWBorysowich turned to KDAmery. "When did we become merciful?"
"Did we do that? Geeze, must be slipping... I know, when they come asking, we'll plead negligence."
"I don't know... He helped us out of that kiddie porn thing in Ohio..."
"Not with negligence... ah, skip it."
"Sorry... I don't skip... I don't dance... I don't go near people who do..."
KDAmery looked at his partner. "Fine. Git outta here."
The sun faded as what Petunia hoped were clouds drifted in. She looked down at the parched land and cracks all around her. The clouds soon consumed the entire sky. A drop hit her cheek and as the rain came down, all of the cracks became little mouths opening for a drink from the sky. Suddenly, a great deluge fell upon the earth... or wherever... and the ground greedily sucked it in, quenching the thirst of all the cute little seeds some moron had left lying there.
Then the water hit the short circuit.
The entire electrical supply of the planet discharged into the ground, supercharging the growth cycle of the plants. Grass, flowers, shrubs, and trees erupted from the ground like one of those bad lawn mower commercials.
In the midst of it all sat Ms. Vickers.
"Well, I daresay that is an improvement."
A tree looked at her. "Jesus Christ! Nobody warned me about... that!"
As all of the high strung vegetation focused their shock on the vision of Ms. Petunia Vickers, they all promptly died and became a brown smelly rotting heap. Ms. Vickers then vanished from the planet. And if it wasn't for that episode, and had Petunia been swept away just a moment sooner, there could have been another planet hurtling toward catastrophe much like ours.
