The Wanderer sat on the curb, head in hands. Behind him was KKK-Mart, where every day is a white sale. Edward D. Head stood over him, saying, "They've got a good price on sheets. What's wrong?"
"Do you realize how hard it is to find a good travelling mattress with a triangular head section? Get real, Ed. What's the D. stand for again?"
"I'd rather not say. So what are we gonna do now?"
"Dunno."
"We could go look at sheets."
"Yeah, white sheets, loads of fun Ed."
"They have different sizes..."
The Wanderer twirled his finger.
"That's right, not only do I have different sizes, but different shapes, and even different shades! Step right in, folks, and I'll take your black mood away in no time!"
Ed looked up. A man with scraggly hair going in more directions than a compass knew how to point was standing in the door of the store, waving and grinning.
"Who're you?" Ed asked.
"C. Manson, proprietor, but you can call me Chucky. Now, what kinda sheets were you looking for?"
The Wanderer looked at him closely. "Aren't you supposed to be in jail?"
"Yeah but I told the Parole Board that I would vote for Dan Quayle in a presidential election, so they released me because they felt that prison was having an ill effect on my mind."
"Uh huh."
"Yes, that's true, now just step this way..."
"Sorry, we gotta go."
The Wanderer got up and dragged Ed away, ignoring the ravings of Chucky. They crossed town, and stopped outside a Dodge dealership.
"Now what?"
"Say, do you guys need a car?"
"Who're you?"
"Francois Mitterand. I'll talk to anybody, and I'll even sell you a car! Now, what price range..?"
"Five cents?" The Wanderer said.
"Oops, not enough. Say, you guys are pretty hard up, not being able to afford my cars. Why, I'll bet any car on this lot that the next person to come by can afford any one of these fine beauties..."
"Shake on that?"
"Sure..."
After shaking, the Wanderer called to a wino across the street, "Hey, can you afford any of these cars?"
"Nope."
After a long argument, and some threats, the Wanderer and Ed drove off in a black Stealth RT, with Ed's cello case in the trunk.
