PART XLVI - HARRY'S the HEAD HONCHO...AGAIN

Harry stood in his new hotel on the proper pair of legs and wiped the bar with a moist rag. He stopped and looked around the room. He went outside and looked up and down the parking lot, glancing at all the rooms. He turned and looked at the roadway while little twirls of dust spiraled in the southwesterly winds. There was a problem - no customers. The whole area was completely empty and void of people except for himself. He screamed - it echoed. Harry went back inside the hotel.

"If I ever get my hands on Ed..." Harry pulled out the yellow pages and looked for the AAA. He called, and they said that, yes, he was still in their vacation listings. That wasn't the problem.

"So where the hell are my customers?"

The door burst open and in walked the largest man Harry had ever seen. He looked around and bumped his head on the chandelier.

"Sir! May I help you?"

"What? Oh, yah, I'm looking for... a place to stay."

"Can do. Name?"

"Karl."

"Great. Got a last name?"

"No."

"Then... you're just known as `Karl.'"

"No."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Then... what are you known as?"

"Karl the Kapuskasing Kar Krusher."

"Ah, of course, why didn't I think of that. Those are all spelled with `k's, right?"

"What? Oh, yah."

"I see where you're coming from."

Karl turned around, puzzled. "You can't see Kapuskasing from here, can you?"

"Uh, no, it's a figure of speech."

"Oh. I'm not very good with figures."

"You don't say. Now, how long will you be staying?"

"Uh, until... I leave."

"I see. Well, that'll be forty dollars for the first night. Here's your key."

"What? Oh, yah. Thanks. Where is it?"

"Basement - far corner."

"Ok, thanks."

Karl walked out. Harry stood for a moment. Karl walked back in and hit his head on the chandelier again.

"Where's the basement?"

"You just go out, turn right down the stairs, and it's the last door on the right."

"Oh, ok. Uh..."

"Your right is the hand with the key in it."

"Oh, thanks."

Karl walked out. Harry sat down on a bar stool.

"Great I get one customer and it has to be a moron."

A loud noise of shearing metal echoed from the parking lot. Harry looked up.

"Oh shit!"

Harry ran out of the bar. His brand new V12 Jaguar Sovereign was folded in half and standing upright on it's front and back bumpers simultaneously.

"Why me?!?"

"It was the only car here."

"You little..."

"What?"

Harry looked at Karl, Karl's muscles, and his car, and decided not to push it. He had no interest in purchasing more body parts. "Oh, what the hell. Do you have insurance for this kinda thing?"

"Hey, I'm the Kapuskasing Kar Krusher, not some anonymous vandal. I'm covered."

"I'd hate to see the blanket. Enjoy your stay."

"Thanks."

Harry went back inside. "I hope he doesn't do that to rooms as well."

PART XLV - IN the MINES...

Zeke got up and poured a stale coffee. "Yep, it's th' spaces between... oh yeah, guess he left." He sat down and mumbled, waiting for the next pilgrim seeking advice from an old fool. He could wait. The mine was strange. Time flowed in odd eddies here beneath the ground, sometimes up hill, sometimes getting caught in the cracks where coal or gold used to sleep. Zeke had an eternity, so waiting came easy.

But the rocks had something else in mind.

They had been grinding together since the planet cooled. Grinding. Eons of abrasion had left them rough and unpleasant. And hungry. They chewed each other, but wanted meatier fare.

Zeke drank his coffee. "Wellp, guess I oughta get ther mail. C'mon, Lassie." He and the imaginary dog began the climb.

The rocks bit down.

Zeke heard the imaginary dog yelp and he turned to see it's leg caught in the rock. He backed down to help Lassie and the rocks had him. Perfect bait - get the dog, and then you get Zeke. Rock started to crawl and envelope Zeke's limbs, and squeezed, it bit down and chewed. The old man screamed. Blood stained the rock and was absorbed. The rocks swallowed his face, and he was silent. The mine closed. And the rocks had something new to eat.