Queen Elizabeth stalked the corridors of Buckingham Palace, looking for mice. A ruckus erupted behind her, and she ducked behind a suit of armour to avoid being played with by Prince Edward and ??????
Prince Charles burst out calling, "Mumsy... Oh Mumsy... Oh there you are. I need some help picking out a suit to wear to the poetry reading tonight."
"Would you quit being such a mama's boy and grow up. Pick your own damn suit and lock these damn kids up!"
"Yis mumsy."
After the royal youngsters departed, Liz padded off to find something to take her mind off this torture. She climbed along the railing overlooking the ball room.
Geeves and another man entered the ball room below. "Yis sah, we need you to remove these darned democrats. Her Majesty the kitten is livid that no one listens to her."
"I don't come cheap."
"Of course not, mister..."
"No names, please."
"Of course. Otherwise it wouldn't be a secret, would it."
"You catch on."
"Yis, anyway, I believe we should be able to meet your fee."
"I'll send you the bill."
The two men departed from the ball room. Liz jumped down from the railing in a joyous leap and then realized it was to the wrong side. She hit the ball room floor with a thud. After Liz shook her head and body, a large puff of smoke exploded in the center of the room. A huge bird emerged, stared at the tapestries, ornate plates, and rugs. "What the hell am I doing here?"
The Queen's eye's widened. "Dinner!" She lunged and bit into one of the Phoenix's claws.
"Ow! Buzz off." He flicked his toe and the kitten slid into a suit of armour that promptly collapsed on top of her. The Phoenix vanished.
