Sacman sat in his office, with his feet up on the desk so that his shoes were visible. Surrounding him were some of his most trusted men, many of them with 95% or more of their body already embroidered.
"Well boys, VelcroVice and HomeSpun Homicide have teamed up to try and strike hard into our territory," stated Sacman.
The thugs started to laugh, but a hush fell over the room as Sacman's shoes disappeared behind his desk, and they were faced with the meanest looking burlap bag this side of Ireland.
"We can't take this too lightly, boys. They're out to hurt us. So I've called in the evilest of villains known - BOB!"
Several gasps escaped from Sacman's men. The door pushed open and in strolled a dark figure, munching on some Fritos. He looked up. "Tho, what'th up folkth? Hey, Thacman, nithe thoes!"
The gang considered gasping again, but decided to hold out for a better contract and benefits.
Sacman stood. "BOB, glad to have you aboard. Boys, those ISO morons'll be screaming for mercy in no time at all."
"I didn't know we dealt in mercy..." said one of the men.
Sacman reached over and yanked a yard of lycra out of the man's left arm.
"Arrghhh, withdrawal!!!" The man keeled over and died.
"Anyway, I said they would scream for mercy. I didn't say they would get it. Is that clear?"
The rest of the room nodded.
"And BOB, can you explain just what will happen to these ISO agents that try to hurt our organization?"
"Yeth. They will thuffer the motht heinuth of deathth."
"And what might that be?" asked one of the braver - or stupider, depending on how charitable one felt - men.
BOB just smiled. "Wait and thee. Right, Gulliver?"
