Barreling down an abandoned highway, Bob, Neils, and Beepo could hear their stomachs growling over the lost muffler on their 1957 Nash Rambler. Beepo was glancing over a tourist map and mentioned that a French restaurant was up ahead.
"What's it called?" asked Bob.
"Chez Quickies - Le McDonald's du France."
"Sounds... fast," said Niels. "There it is. Let's check it out."
They pulled into the parking lot and spent five minutes trying to find a space that didn't have a Renault or a Citroen in it. Inside, the servers and cooks were wearing striped shirts and berets with little strings sticking out of the top; they all had penciled in moustaches, too. In the corner, a band with the name, `All Those Bozos' on its drum kit was playing `Feelings' on the accordion, harmonica, and mandolin with a monster-bass-drum-back-beat.
They got in line. Beepo said to the server, "I'll have the Coquil St. Jacques with fries to go."
"Anything to drink?"
"A can of the 1768 vintage Beaujolais."
"That'll be $27.36 please."
"Fast but steep... What are you guys having?"
Bob scanned over the menu. "I'll have the escargot au fromage du Kraft and... a stick of your french bread and... a Perrier."
"That'll be $12.92."
Neils approached the counter, "I'll get the filet mignon on a stick... a side order of frog legs... a bottle of espresso... and a tin of Neapolitan for desert."
"That'll be $17.30."
She packed up all the containers into a plastic picnic basket, periodically referring to the packing instructions stamped on the bottom. She also threw in the napkins, bibs, and plastic packages of imitation béarnaise sauce. After exchanging winks with the Bozoettes in the band, they left the restaurant and piled back into the Rambler to eat their lunch.
Beepo's wine exploded in his face. "Damn... is wine supposed to be carbonated?"
"Not in 1768," said Niels, biting into his filet on a stick and getting béarnaise sauce on his shirt.
Bob was chasing his lunch. "Man, for snails these things sure are quick."
"Must be getting lubrication from the cheese," said Beepo.
They finished the meal and were about to leave when a young lady in a short black dress with white frills came in and started cleaning the slops up.
"Uh, excuse me, but, who are you?" asked Beepo.
"The complementary French maid," said the girl. "Une moment."
"This place isn't bad," said Bob staring at the maid's mamories.
"Do you clean shirts?" asked Neils
"Only when people aren't in them.
All three instantly took their shirts off.
"Mon Dieu, you should all eat more."
Bob said, "What do you expect? We're Quantum Mechanics, not football players."
"Ah, science geeks." She cleaned the shirts and handed them back. "I have to get back inside now. Have a nice day."
"How can we," said Niels as she left. "All food and no lay..."
Bob put his shirt back on and started the Rambler.
Pulling out of the lot, they accidentally bumped a LeCar. Looking around, they screeched out of the parking lot and back to save the universe from quantum destruction.
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