Buzzing, always buzzing, it drilled into his head, never relented. the pounding, driving buzzing, buzzing...
"Hey, relax, that's what you get when you're a mosquito."
"But you can stop can't you... You're worse than a bad radio transmission!"
"Bug brain, it's what we do! We buzz, that's what happens when our wings move, and there's no way around it. The only way not to buzz is to pull your wings out."
"Then stop flapping!! I want to listen to the fucking radio without you sounding like a bad transmission."
"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm on the ground, not flapping. You're the one hovering."
"Oh... Never mind." The killer mosquito tuned in his favourite radio station - RTC (Republican Termination Corporation). The fuzz cleared and the News blared from the speakers.
"Motel demolished in an ISO hit today trying to neutralize the infamous drug fiend Moon Runner Hendrix. Sources close to ISO headquarters were quoted as saying that they would be providing the funding to have the hotel rebuilt."
"Great, they don't say which hotel..."
"I wonder if they broke any mirrors?"
"My God!! That would mean seven decades of bad luck!"
The one mosquito looked at the other. "You been injecting bad Dacron again?"
"Our reporters in England have stated that the British Parliament has been all but levelled, killing most of the Politicians. Margaret Thatcher is rumoured to have escaped to Zimbabwe for further persecution," came the second news story.
"Well that's nice."
"Finally, sources say that the universe is gradually being woven into a pretzel shape by two young men in the suburbs. Now, fashion news."
The first mosquito flipped the radio off. "I can't listen to fashion news, it's too upsetting. So, got any beer?"
"Sorry, man, the last camel just died."
"I thought they were stolen?"
"When?"
"A week ago."
"Who toldja that?"
"It was in the paper."
"Oh, then it must be true. I guess I was hallucinating them for the last week."
"Hallucinating what?"
"The camels and the beer, you twit."
"What camels and beer?"
The second mosquito looked at the first. "You're a simp."
"Hey, I just don't remember any camels and beer - just a lot of stale religion."
"What, was Jerry Falwell on a camping trip near here?"
"No, he's homeless."
"Ooh! I knew things were tough, but this sounds really heavy."
"He's also being prosecuted by the New Messiah soon; it was in all the tabloids."
"Oh come on, the New Messiah wouldn't bother with small sardines like that. He's much more worried about seriously religious folks, like Jon Bon Jovi."
"I guess," and with that the first bug turned the radio back on to hear Larry King interviewing the ghost of Jimmy "Steamin'" Hoffa.
"So how do you find it being soaked through with oil?"
"Actually, you don't notice it so much after a while, but it comes flooding back every time I go near Yellowstone."
"Hey, Smokey the Bear would probably like to talk to you."
