The bell rang, and a hush fell over the crowd. The cameras zoomed in on the opponents as they approached the center of the celestial ring. They sat down and started to stare.
New Messiah got in the first shot. "Is God dead? Or is He just on vacation?"
"Vacation."
"Is He reachable?"
"On occasion."
"Has anyone beeped Him to say how fucked up everything is?"
"No. It's not His concern."
"Tres interesant. So, what, He just made the place and took off for the weekend?"
"Actually the millennia."
"So all those billions of prayers everyday are just hot air, achieving nothing?"
"It brings a modicum of faith to the faithless."
"Bullshit. We both know the faithless don't pray. Besides, before the bell rang you were arguing that the whole thing was pointless, that the people shouldn't bother with faith. So why do you want them to have a modicum of it?"
"There is a big difference between faith and religion."
"True, but the whole prayer thing is designed to instill faith in religion. The fact that they're not the same thing is hardly relevant here, considering."
"Religion has encompassed a lot more than faith and most of it is detrimental to society."
"Strange, considering that to a large extent it was the foundation of modern society."
"Actually, it was the foundation of ancient society, and only carried itself into the modern age on the backs of a bunch of traditionalists."
"Fine, but modern society would be a lot different without it. But all this is just a wee bit off topic. Religion doesn't encompass faith, it's an article of it."
"Modern Society would be better off without it, too."
"Oh ho! What's this, a mea culpa?"
"Hey, I've been around here for a long time, And I'm getting sick and tired of shouldering the blame for every little thing that goes wrong in peoples lives. `Why did God take him from me' `why did god blow up the volcano' `Can't god make him better?' I've gotten sick of the constant simpering of people for things that are out of their control. It isn't our fault or our job to fix the fucking things."
"You're sick of it? How do you think Satan feels? The poor guy's had a massive break down due to rejection, which, I might add, you guys dropped on him. `Hey, we need a scape goat for this new belief. Yo, Lucifer, c'mere, we got a job for ya!' He's a wreck, man. Even the `Get a Fucking Life!' therapy didn't work. Anyway, I think you missed a crucial point. Of course people want supernatural help with things they can't control. If they could control them, they wouldn't need help, would they? Think about it, moron! If you didn't want all the spiritual phone mail, you shouldn't've let on you existed, ya twit!"
"Oh. sure - this crap came out of peoples minds with no provocation to begin with. And don't bring up the Lucifer thing. He got what he wanted and then some. My heart bleeds."
"Observe, folks, the all loving, all caring God of your dreams! Jesus, Christ, where the hell did you come from, Wall Street? So, like, do you do anything or are you a Cosmic Welfare Jerk?"
"Look all these problems are here because people caused them, ok? Some things are out of their control with regards to planetary movements and weather, but disease and hardship is all of their own fucking negligence."
"Fine. What the fuck is your purpose in life, then?"
"To propagate a dying prophecy."
"Wonderful. You've been kicking around for two thousand years for that! You're a yutz."
"Fine. You're so goddamn smart - you fix it!"
"This mess? You're kidding, right?"
"Hey, you asked for the friggin' job."
"Hmmmmmmm... This sounds like a challenge. I'll have to work on it."
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