XXXIV - BATTLE of the BABES

Barbie stood on top of Wendle's gut in her spike shoes. "Take the rest of the beach if you like, but this one's mine."

The Aussie Surfin’ Babes rolled their eyes. "Look Sheila, you don't even want the mate. You was cursin’ his guts when we arrived."

"So? It's the principle of the thing."

"Can I get up?" Wendle asked.

"No!" they all said at once.

"You will stay there until this is finished, Wendle!" screamed Barbie.

"Wendle? Struth! we're in Key West!" muttered one of the Aussies with disgust.

Wendle said, "Lookit that! It's a lady riding a Phoenix!"

Raquel and Phoenix swooped by.

Barbie stuck her heel into Wendle's gut. "Cut it out, we've heard that one before."

"But... owww!"

Phoenix landed on a van and tapped his claws. "I'm not even going to ask."

"Isn't that Wendle on the ground there?" asked Raquel.

"Aw, shit! We're in Key West," screamed Phoenix.

Raquel jumped off Phoenix and walked over to the Aussies. "Any of you seen a guy wearing hippie clothes from the Salvation Army and smoking a clay pipe?"

"Yeah, we told him to buzz off in Tahiti."

"Oh, thanks."

Raquel hung her head and trudged back over to the Phoenix. The bird looked up from a week old newspaper. "Any news?"

"They last saw him in Tahiti."

"Okay, lets go there."

"Can you go someplace you want to go?"

"Dunno, never tried. Climb up." Phoenix took off and they disappeared.

Barbie meanwhile was brandishing a curling iron to keep the Aussies away. The Surf Babes were about to load their weapons when the leader took a good look at Wendle. "Ferget it, lasses. The mate ain't worth it."

"Struth." They wandered off, looking for guys.

"Now that you've got me, what do you want to do?"

Barbie scowled and curled his eyebrows.

"You're just a friggin’ icon in this place. It's like you run a religion or something." Barbie was so put off, she scuffed sand in his face and left him lying on the beach with his bruises.

A couple walked up to him. "Are you OK? Is that you, Wendle?"

"Gosh honey, did we walk all the way to Key West?"

"I'm fine just leave me alone, alright!"

"Sorry."

"Sorry!?! I'm getting my eyebrows curled by a lady who accuses me of being a cross between one of those screwball Messiahs and a piece of a computer screen and you're sorry?"

"Well, actually, we're not. We just thought we'd be civil."

"Oh. Never mind."