"Damn it! These stupid things always go stale as soon as their out of the friggin' bag."
"What, pretzels?"
"Those too. No, these faiths. Start one up and bam! Some fucking capitalist turns it into a circus. Lookit the trouble I had with the moneychangers, and the Vatican's art collection, and Jimmy Bakker, and..."
"Aw, come on... The dancing bears on Swaggart weren't that bad! That was almost Moscow material - maybe even Cirque du Soleil. You never know where these things will lead. Lots of opportunities out there."
"Sure. Wait 'til some moron's using your name to sell aftershave. The whole thing begins to look like Archaos after a while. If I wasn't locked into my contract for the next millennia, I'd say, `Fuck it, you can have the damn franchise.'"
"See, you should have gone for the line of PC compatibles instead. You old farts always get into these silly things without looking at the modern trends!"
"Try looking two thousand years ahead and see how accurate you get. It'd be easy if the big guy wasn't on vacation, but lookit how this all goes together? Dark One over there and Nietzche off thataway saying `God is dead.'"
"Well, the icons are too out of date, so people can't relate to the prophets as if they were fore-fathers anymore. They've been dead for so long, religion has become like ancient history for children."
"Exactly. The only way to keep it current and fresh is to remain in their actual psyche's rather than symbolising it. But you ever try doing that? It drives'em batty! They're all running around pulling their hair out, claiming they've met god or something. No control."
"Yeah, I heard about that experiment with Chuck Manson. That guy is a total loop now. But there must be an easier way to get to people. How about electronic mail?"
"Nah, most people just dump it as junk mail. The best way would be media stuff. You know, become a rock star or an actor or a..."
"Professional wrestler?"
"Exactly. Sure you still want the job?"
"My lawyer could whoop your lawyer's ass in a match any day."
The old messiah glanced up perturbed, "This isn't about lawyers, this is about you my son. Lawyers are about as inspiring as televangelists without colour transmission."
Both of the Messiahs sat back and took a sip of water, then spat on the floor. The battle was about to heat up.
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