The USS Iowa opened fire on New Orleans. George Washington looked on with pride as yet another jazz bar bit the dust. Now he was aiming toward the French Quarter and shuffled his hands in glee as he watched the reloading of the cruise missiles.
"If Sigi Freud could only see these babies," he mused, watching a Tomahawk streak into the night, bent on destroying some over-cultured frogs. "Size and potency aplenty here."
Unknown to George, a rowboat crept closer to his ship. In it was the Nameless One Jr, hell bent and determined to stop this nuttiness. Reaching the hull, he reached down and pulled the plug from the bottom. The Iowa took on water and sank to the bottom, leaving the deck a mere two inches above the surface.
"My my," George said, "I think we've lost altitude."
The waves lapped onto the deck, and George stood up on a stool to keep his feet from getting wet, and realized it was a sample for the medical lab.
"Oh sh.. Never mind. Somebody start the pumps!"
"All the motors are flooded sire!" reported one of the deck hands, who then shovelled the stool down the medical shaft.
Meanwhile, The Nameless One Jr proceeded to plug the main guns with chewing gum, and distributed pacifist literature to the electronic brains of the cruise missiles, who saw the error of their ways and repented.
George sidled over to the Nameless One Jr. "Umn, excuse me..."
"Are you the leader?" asked Nameless, pulling up a pair of diapers.
"Well of course I am! Look at my hat!"
Drawing his cardboard sword, Nameless pointed it in George's direction and said, "My daddy taught me to duel, you know."
"At least let me draw my weapon. Er... Can I borrow some stationary?"
"Certainly." Nameless pulled a pad out of his diaper and handed it to George.
George drew an ICBM hurriedly. "How's that?"
"Mmm, the rivets are wrong. Try again."
As George sketched madly, the boy watched.
"I have a friend... At school... He said he would draw a weapon to Hildy... This girl in my class..... And he reached into his pants and you know what he pulled out?"
"A howitzer?"
"Close... It was long and pink and..."
"Stop it, you're exciting me."
"Can we go inside and eat?"
"No."
"But why?"
"You've flooded my galley!"
"Can we eat out here?"
"There's no food out here, unless you eat bullets."
"Bullets! My favourite!" And the young boy began chomping away on some two ton shells.
"Okay, I drew my weapon."
"Shading's wrong."
"Oh. Is this better?"
"My sister... She's one and a half... She can draw better..."
"Shut up, Picasso."
"Don't call me names! I met Picasso once..."
"I highly doubt that."
"He was very tall... And had a brush and... And a circular piece of wood... He did..."
"Uh huh." George was still drawing his ICBM.
"Yeah, and his daughter... Her nose was in her ear... You know that?"
"Ah hah! Now I've got you! Here's my ICBM!"
A missile flew down towards Nameless One Jr, but the boy pulled out a card, and an X-Wing Fighter blew the missile up.
"What was that?" George asked.
"Star Wars."
"Oh nonsense child, that's only in a lab!"
"My daddy says... He says that camels are used by the Egyptians for carrying beer... Across the desert... Cuz they have big tanks... And you know that's why the aliens... from that planet way up there... Come down here and... And steal them..."
"Your daddy is full of it!"
"I'll... I'll... I'll tell him you said that!"
Then the Nameless One Jr jumped over the railing into his row boat and stroked off.
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