Part LXXXV - To Reluctantly Go Where No Authors Have Gone Before

"Well," said KDAmery. "Should we go in there?"

"Yeah right! You go in first and if no body parts are thrown out I'll follow you."

"Hey, relax, I've got my remote."

"Yeah I've got my remote too, but don't forget that this house separated from the universe without us touching the remotes."

"Goddamnit, did you have to remind me?! Jeeze, wants me to go first then gives me the Willies..."

"O.K. here's the deal: we both open the door and stand back - once we have an idea of what's inside, then we'll go in."

"This sounds disturbingly like Wolf or Doom™."

"Hey if it barks we run - if it kills us then it won't matter."

"Okay. One suggestion... that career in counselling? I'd skip it."

"Well, that’s the end of the session - here's my bill for $587 and 32 cents. Have a nice day and try to remember not to focus on your financial troubles..."

"Great. I'm going into a novel We're writing that's gone haywire and he's got delusions of usefulness."

"It's not a delusion - I'm acting."

"At least Keanu Reeves won't be unemployed..."

"So, are we going to open this door or what? Of course we could just leave it for some other author that dares to enter it."

"Sadist. Who could handle this thing?"

"Masochist! Why should we have to?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot I was dealing with the centre of the universe."

"Alright, let's get it over with - it'll probably be nothing but a couple of old sweat socks and a basketball from the 1964 Knicks games."

"Do you know something I don't?"

"Probably, but I wasn't going to go through the checklist now."

"Wonderful, he's keeping secrets again. Oh well, here goes." KDAmery opened the door and pointed his remote.

Rob Smith was standing in the doorway.

"Oh myself KDA - He's wearing an old Don Johnson suit..."

"Y'know, this could be kinda fun..."

"Oh shit," said Rob.