Ed raised his gun. "No body come any closer!"
The security guards dropped behind the tables and tipped them over, forming shields. Wanderer, Music Man, and Moon Runner just looked around. Wanderer said, "Ed, what the fuck are you doing?"
"Protecting my interests. Get down, you moron, there's going to be shooting!"
"That's another thing," said Wanderer, "where did you get those guns?"
"I always had them."
"Okay, where did you hide those guns?"
"In several places on my person where nobody would ever look."
"I see... No I don't."
"Well I'm not about to show you right now. Just get down for crying out loud!"
"Who do you want to shoot?"
"Not you, fool, but it can be arranged, now get down." Ed backed towards a door.
Moon Runner started chanting and waving his hands, and Music Man dove for cover. Ed pointed the gun at Moon Runner.
"Don't try that magic bull shit on me, you red-skinned-red-commie-red-daemon-worshipping-drug-fiend!"
Moon Runner stopped, and frowning, said, "I do know you, kimo sabe."
"That's right, Satan-Shaman, and before I step out I'm taking you out. And don't try any of this kissing the sky bullshit."
Wanderer was moving his fingers back and forth as if counting up a complex total. "Ed, what the hell is this about?"
"It's about national security and a decent, conventional, Christian way of life. Now get down, you idiot!"
"Just who the hell do you think you are?"
"He's the Secret Assassin," said Moon Runner.
"He's what?"
Ed rolled his eyes. "Great move, Medicine Man, now I have to waste everybody!" He pulled out the Cadillac of Mini-guns and leveled it.
The door behind him burst open, knocking Ed to the floor, where he hit his head on a roulette wheel that had fallen in the confusion. Roger Harpell stepped through the door, looking very puzzled. "What is this, I have a casino in my house, too?"
"Who are you, kimo-sabe?"
"Oh, Hi I'm Roger Harpell. Who is the unconscious guy?"
"The Secret Assassin," said Music Man.
"Oh. Not very secret, is he? So, where are we, anyway?"
Wanderer said, "Las Vegas, where else?"
"Say what?!"
"What were you expecting, Kimo-Sabe?"
"I was just asking where in my house we were."
"Your house?" asked Moon Runner and Wanderer together.
"Yeah, I..."
Music Man got up and dragged Wanderer and Moon Runner to the door. "Look, Roger, we'd love to chat, but this guy here on the floor wants to kill us, so can we follow you back?"
"Uh, sure." They stepped back through the door and shut it.
Ed started to come to. "Wha the... now where the fuck did they go?"
As he asked this, a brilliant flash erupted, and most of the room ignited. Ed was left standing in a blackened waste land. A large bird and a beautiful girl stood before him.
"What the fuck are we doing here?" asked Pheonix.
"Looking for Moon Runner Hendrix," said Raquel.
"You just missed him," said Ed.
"Really? Where'd he go?"
"Fucked if I know. I was about to blow him away when somebody hit me from behind."
"You what?!"
"I said..."
"I heard what you said! Pheonix, toast this mother fucker!"
"Why?" asked Pheonix.
"Yeah, why?" asked Ed.
"He tried to kill Moon Runner!"
"Oh, shit, are you his squeeze?" asked Ed.
Both Raquel and Pheonix glared at Ed. "How well done do you want him?" asked Pheonix.
"Oh, fuck!" Ed slapped a button on his shirt. "Unlimited, one to zap up!"
