Friday, December 4, 2009

PART XVII - KDA and CWB on the Merits of Childhood

"Without it, we'd be too big to be born."

"No, I tend to disagree, KDAMERY, There are some definite possibilities in the human species for external cultivation of the unborn child and even the development of large eggs for the simple purpose of extending the gestation period of a typical child by approximately 25 years."

"What, sort of like vegetable gardens?"

"No it's much more complex than the simple burying of cellulose. It involves the removal of the unborn child from the mother or even a DNA restructuring of the Human species to evolve a more complex birth process that involves the excretion of a large calcium bubble that has a long extension umbilical cord that will link to the natural mother and allow the full gestation of the foetus for 25 years."

"Uh huh. (Wordy SOB ain'tcha?) First, aren't all these extended umbilical chords going to get tangled? Second, think of all the toys we wouldn't get to play with?"

"Well this would require a small rule of equidistant zones between multiple mothers that are gestating in this manner. The other advantage is that instead of wasting time with LEGO and dolls, the newborn will be able to jump directly into executive level toys, such as stress management objects and cars. This will bring a more advanced level to the intelligence and co-ordination of our society."

"You want to teach kids to be intelligent and coordinated in BMWs and with Uzis? Get real! Besides, imagine trying to toilet train a linebacker! There is a distinct advantage to having small children as opposed to adults; changing a diaper is much easier."

"Well, I only know of two or three toilet trained linebackers to start with, so that problem won't be any worse than it is now. As for BMWs and Uzis, I think you are taking the two concepts a little too far, the shell will allow for all the proper internal training of the child in it's 5-25 year cycles through audio and projection image stimulation."

"So, basically, you're not getting rid of childhood, you're just putting it in a personal isolation bubble. Kinda anti-social, dontcha think?"

"Just think it'll keep the little buggers off the street and lower the level of vandalism in the suburbs."

"Who'll care? We'll all be in these fucking bubbles."

"We won't all be in the bubbles. You leave the bubble at around age 25 when you have completed the training stage of your gestation period and you become an active part of society immediately."

"Holy run on sentence, Sacman. This I gotta see: a society of people who've never seen anyone else before. Sounds exciting (provided I get to wear kevlar...)"

"Sacman?!? Is he here? I've gotta hide that roll of velvet. Anyway, they will see other people in their training stage through projections."

"Uh huh. So we're talking a VR bubble, right?"

"Something like that, yes."

"Okay. Why?"

"Again, it comes down to keeping those little buggers off the streets... Yes I know they're out there creeping around in the darkness throwing people's garbage into the streets and bending antennas on cars. They get mixed up in fabric and all sorts of other substances and smoke. They are ruining this nation and I WON'T STAND FOR IT!!!"

"Oh great, a Supreme Being has lost it, folks. Dive for cover."

CWBorysowich continued into the advanced stages of a nervous breakdown.

KDAmery watched for a while, then decided to pop out for some fresh air and a psycho killer or twelve. On his way out, he said, "There is one advantage to his idea. Maybe that way we could get those jobs we have to have previous experience for. Or maybe not."