"We're goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get stoned..."
"You hiding weed or something, man?"
"Hmm, Maybe... Maybe not."
"An' what's with the chapel shit? You get religion or what?"
"Nah, it was a Supremes thing..."
"Sure. Whatever."
"... The rococo design of the Hallelujah Chorus is what allowed it to continue in appreciation, especially when considered in light of the later interpretation by the Beef Farmers Association of San Marino ..."
Thank you, Nigel Lamebrain.
"... And we are just now discovering - through scientific methods of course - that there seems to be a very toxic substance that accumulates within various types of fabric and can cause certain mental "highs" in humans. We are hoping that this research won't be released to the public as it may cause widespread human self-infliction of stitches and embroidery of the skin..."
Sacman was listening.
"... Technically, we're not sure where Sturmgosse might be; he could be behind that wall, for all we know. The house defies all efforts to map, or even understand, its passages and layout. For example, it seems to be possible to reach geographically remote areas through certain broom closets and whatnot. Such being the case, it is impossible to ascertain what has happened to mister Smith. Therefore, we are forced to move that Sturmgosse Smith be declared legally dead and..."
Roger Harpell received a letter.
"... I don't know what made me do it! I was just out in the field one day and I found myself staring at it. It was so perfect! Nobody else could understand, but the tail wagged and I just fell in love with it on the spot. I had to have it..."
Geraldo cut to a commercial.
"... It does not compute. It never will compute. That's the whole idea, you moron! It's supposed to tie the micro-processors up in knots..."
The makers would have sued for libel, but they never knew what hit them.
"Thousands of lives are shattered every moment, with no hope of ever finding the pieces, and no one really cares anymore. It's just too big. If it was just a village, we would care, but it's not, it's billions of people, mind boggling really, and it deadens the emotions until some of us wonder if we still have any. The odds are enormous, and no one cares to bet. So don't blame me, it's not my fault."
And the shrink took notes while feasting his eyes on the stretch of thigh.
"My god Steve... You recorded this on VHS... What were you thinking man??? What if this thing fell into the wrong hands??? How many times do I have to tell you!?! Don't quote Faust while under the influence of ludes!!!"
ISO was listening...
"Do you think you have me? In your dreams, pitiful mortal! The key to it all isn't even in this world! So go ahead, destroy my soldiers. All it is, is a temporary set back..."
Kyle ducked and spun, disembowelling a goblin. Battle raged about him as the words of the sorcerer still rung in his ears. Which world?
"Where did that stupid cat go? Roooooooo! where the hell are you? Gads...even in the underworld, you can lose pets and who the hell farted?"
The Dark Lord waved a fan and thousands of fans waved back.
"Y'know, everything would be much easier if I had ultimate power."
CWBorysowich looked puzzled. "I thought you did."
They'd been wandering the desert for days before Wanderer asked, "How come you keep disappearing?"
"I do?" asked Ed.
Here's an easy bet to win. Bet someone you can predict what they will say. Tell them to pick an integer between one and ten (they can't tell you the number). Multiply it by nine, then add the digits. Subtract five. The resultant number corresponds to a letter (a=1, b=2, etc.) Tell them to pick a country whose name starts with that letter. Tell them to pick an animal whose name starts with the second letter of that country name. Then tell them to think of the colour of that animal. The answer should be...
{note your answer for future reference.}
The Casual Observer walked along the main street of a large city that will remain nameless to protect the guilty. He watched the parade of people passing him and observed the contents of store windows he passed. Then he noticed he was being followed. Three androids had been tracking him for several blocks. The casual observer felt a bit more formal. Used to being the voyeur, he was now the hunted. He ducked into an alley. Dead end. He turned.
The androids were around the corner and bearing down on him. The casual observer backed up to the wall and raised his hands in the air. The androids drew silenced automatic weapons.
He dropped to his knees. "No... don't..!"
They opened fire. The bullets cut into his chest. He never saw the androids leave.
The Pheonix appeared in a puff of smoke and looked at the alley and the body of the observer. "What am I doing here?"
Pheonix approached the body as its last string of life slipped away. A computer disk was clutched in the right hand. The eyes opened and looked into the eyes of Pheonix.
"Don't let the machines win..."
The eyes closed and the body exhaled for the last time.
Pheonix took the disk from the hand and disappeared.
What machines?
