Saturday, October 9, 2010

PART LVI - HEARTBURN REDUX

The scene got ugly. At first, the worst anyone had to worry about was a rusty crochet needle. But soon, people where getting carbon fibres woven over their ventricles. The police started hassling kevlar addicts, thinking they were trying to become invincible terrorists. Fashion designers eyed certain people's skin with undisguised predatory hunger. Tattoo shops started arming, threatening retribution for this undermining of their market base. But even the die-hards knew it had gone too far when people started pulling down oil-drilling-tubing. They weren't sure what was going to be injected with that stuff, but it made what was left of their skin crawl.

Meanwhile, the law got serious about Textile Trafficking. At first, they made one new Department. Velcro Vice. It's mandate was to stick to traffickers like... well, you get the idea. Remarkably, these fanatical fabric fun-killers got up to speed in a hurry. Within months, they were making busts dozens of yards long.

But it got uglier. Gang warfare started and quickly escalated as the price of even mere nylon went through the roof. Addicts were found dead, with things other than fabric injected into their bodies. A second Department was needed, one even more fanatical than the first, more thorough, more efficient. ISO was called in to form... Homespun Homicide.

The other side was ready. One gang emerged predominant, and soon had even Velcro Vice shaking with fear and DTs. This gang was led by the infamous Sac Man, he of the really nice shoes. With his original identity of mild-mannered janitor Ted Nugget destroyed by the need to addict others, his life submerged, now driven into a psychotic seclusion behind burlap, so that only his shoes would be visible. Sac Man led the most ruthless gang of pushers on the west coast.

Hospitals were being over run with terrible cases of self-abuse. Some radicals were starting to inject molten lava and were staggering into emergency rooms with severe cases of heart-burn and hardened arteries. Doctors were becoming sick with the sight of these poor people and decided that Sac Man had to be stopped before the whole country sewed themselves into a coffin. Fortunately, Homespun Homicide agreed.

But, on the plus side, all the corpses came with burial shrouds already attached.