PART XLIX - VOICE SPEAKS ENDLESSLY

"You were right," said Dark One. "It worked!"

"Who was right?"

"Y... never mind. Now I have him!"

"Not yet. You have to follow through."

"That's in golf, moron."

"Golf, tennis, and life. What moron?"

Dark One growled.

"He'll cut his losses if you don't keep the pressure up."

"How?"

The scene in the casino froze. "Moon Runner knows you're after him now, right?"

"Presumably."

"What will he do next?"

"Run, I imagine."

"How do you stop him?"

"How?"

"Don't ask me. I'm not here."

"Arrggh!"

Moon runner turned to his friends, to see them looking at all the statues

"It's just like the wax museum, Ed" called Wanderer.

"Something is wrong, kimo sabe."

Ed turned around holding an AK47 and a case of hand grenades. The buzz of the gun sawed down several stationary gamblers

"Ed, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Oh, sorry. Got carried away."

"Do I know you from somewhere, kimo sabe?"

"Nah," Ed said, "I just look like some merc on TV."

"Now what?" asked Dark One.

"What shall be shall be, unless it is erased."

"Say what?"

"Okay, `what?'."

Dark One fumed, but said nothing about his guest's sense of humour. "Erased how?"

"A VCR won't do it."

"Get to the point."

"Which one?"

"You... the one about erasing what shall be."

"Ah. In the distant past, time was created. It flowed forth in an even span, and from it came history. The narrative is permanent and constant, and the stream has already been made. But it is vulnerable to the chaos of sentience. Applied properly, thought alone can rewrite time itself."

"Yeah, right."

"Alright, don't believe me. Catch him on your own."

"Okay, do... are any strategies known?"

"By whom?"

"Anyone."

"Of course."

"And they are?"

"Think."

"Impudent voice."

"That isn't a command, it's the answer."

"The answer to what?!?"

"Thinking is the answer to all. Improper solutions would be greatly reduced if proper thought was used from the beginning. Thinking of a solution to erase this will solve the problem."

"Brilliant deduction, Watson."

"Who's Watson?"

"A friend from elementary school."

"Oh. Nice to hear he's brilliant."

In the casino, Moon Runner clapped his hands, and time reasserted itself. The cut up bodies fell, and the guests panicked. The guards converged on Ed.

Wanderer looked at Ed. "Now look what you've done."

"Sorry."

"Observe, that Moon Runner has already started to escape. Unless you can rewrite history, you had best move quickly."

"I've got a plan in place already."

"Oh?"

"Yes," the Dark One snickered. "That's the Secret Assassin. He works for me."

"Convenient."

"Unlike some people I could mention."

"Oh? Who?"

"Never mind."

"Not a problem, considering."

"Considering what?"

"Were you considering something?"

"NO! forget it! Come on Ed... Kill 'im! What is he waiting for?"

"You talk to the TV during movies and sports, don't you?"

"Of course I... Shut up!"

"Who are you talking to?"

"An annoyance that keeps speaking and doesn't exist."

"Considering your views, that might be a responsible government."

"No it's a friggin' conscience or something."

"Really? Where?"

"You keep speaking and yet claim you don't exist. How is that possible?"

"It isn't, at least the way you put it. Are you hearing voices again?"

"Only yours..."

"Whose?"

"The words that respond to all of my statements."

"Oh. So you are hearing a response, then?"

"Every time I say something, yes."

"Hmmm. And what are these responses like?"

"Exactly what you are saying."

"Who?"

"There is another one."

"Where?"

"And again."

"I detect a note of repetition in your responses. This indicates repression. What are you hiding?"

"Look... If you don't exist, how do you respond to my statements?"

"This argument is going in circles. You're evading the issue."

"I know, it's like watching 60 Minutes. What is the damn issue?"

"What are you hiding?"

Dark One checked his pockets... "I don't know, what am I hiding?"

"But you do know. You're hiding it from yourself - that's the nature of repression."

"How do I find this repression?"

"A concerted campaign of questioning helps. You must dig into your deepest thoughts and fears. Analysts can help direct the questioning, but ultimately, the answer comes from within."

"Hmm.. My deepest thought is a fantasy about whipping Brooke Shields into a fit of ecstasy and my greatest fear is that Dan Quayle will run for President and morons like Chucky Manson will campaign for him."

"Those came out too quickly. This indicates they're actually surface thoughts, not deep at all. Very disappointing..."

"What should I do, hypnotize myself?"

"There's that hostility again. What makes you angry?"

"An empty box of Corn Flakes."

"Flippancy doesn't help."

"I have a lot on my mind. There is this court case coming up with the Queen, and then there's Moon Run... Oh Jeez... They're going into the Smith house - I'll never get him out of there!"

If the Voice had existed - it would have smiled. As it was, it just felt highly amused in a vacuum.

PART XLVIII - WHEN the CHIPS are DOWN, EAT ZUCCHINI

Wanderer wandered over to the band. "You guys wanna start playing something? This dead thing's getting old."

The band leader looked up and tried to respond, but the noose around his neck got in the way. He reached up and tried to loosen it, without success.

"Allow me, kimo sabe." Moon Runner threw a tomahawk at it, cutting the rope and dropping the singer to the floor.

He horked and rubbed his throat. "Thanks man. Look, I dunno about this singin’ thing, man, my vocals are squeezed."

Wanderer looked at the rope around his neck. "I wonder why. Get over it and get on with it."

"Sure dude, easy for you to say. You just gotta listen."

"That's easy?"

"Well, guess not. Wouldn't wanna be known as easy listening."

The singer went up to the bar and grabbed a hypodermic needle. He plunged it into Ed's water, sucked up about 50ml, and jabbed it right into a major artery. He shook all over. "Wow, man, that really makes me feel alive!"

"No wonder," said Ed. "It's not you, it's the water."

"Thanks man."

The singer got up on stage, and started to tap his foot on the floor.

"Did you need the rest of the band down?"

"No, their just props, I sing to pre recorded tapes. They just pretend to play the instruments."

He hit play on the tape and a devilish backbeat pounded from the speakers.

"My name is Home Boy Iliad and I'm gonna sing some real down home blues for you all tonight.

"My mama's dead - been dead so long...

My papa's dead - been dead so long...

Now I wish I was dead too - so long...

Lost my job on the factory line - so long...

Lost my wife from the laundry line - so long...

Now I wish I was dead too - so long...

I been the butt of life - so long...

I been caught in strife - so long...

Now I wish I was dead too - so long...

They made me pay - so long...

But I can't stay - so long...

Now I wish I was dead too - so long...

I'm listening for the bell - so long...

Ring me off to hell - so long..."

The tape stopped, and silence hit them like a lead pipe.

"Have you thought of lip synching too?" asked Music Man.

Ed looked at Wanderer. "We didn't order the lead pipe did we?"

"Guess he did."

"Quiet!! Have you no respect for artistic silences?"

"Not on pre-recorded tape, kimo sabe."

"I suppose you could do better."

"Well, as a matter of fact..."

"Okay, funny dude. Go for it."

Moon Runner nodded at Music Man. They took the stage, Moon Runner playing the guitar left handed, Music Man the piano and backing vocals. They started with an apocalyptic rendition of "6 by 9".

"Show off," Home Boy Illiad said.

"My thoughts exactly," said Ed.

Wanderer stepped on stage and picked up a bass.

"Wanderer, you can't play that thing," said Ed.

"I can learn."

"Oh, great."

Moon Runner warped off some chords, and they started "Purple Haze."

The bartender dropped his bottle again and said, "I hope he stops soon. This is too upbeat - people might want to stay here and drink normal stuff."

"Hey Moon, we gonna snag some cash at poker or what" called Wanderer after snapping the G-string on his bass.

"Let us go, kimo sabe."

They all wandered out into the hotel lobby, over to the gambling hall and cashed out some chips.

"Okay, listen. This requires utmost concentration and purity. And," Moon Runner popped some pills, "divine inspiration."

They approached a table. "Mind if I join?"

The other players looked Moon Runner up and down. "Sure you can afford it, pal?"

"No, my friend, I cannot afford not to."

The other players grinned. "Sure, ante in."

The cards were dealt. Moon began chanting under his breath. As he did, a bird appeared behind each of the other players. No one else seemed to notice the ravens.

The bids were made. Moon looked at the ravens and followed the bid without raising. They exchanged some cards, and the bid went around again. Moon Runner doubled his bid after a few nods from the ravens, and the hand was his. Two people folded. The third raised Moon and they exchanged cards again with the dealer for the last time. The raven flapped. Moon smiled, met and raised the bet. The man started to sweat, met Moon's bet and the dealer called his mother. Moon Runner dropped a royal flush, the dealer only had two pair after hanging up, and the man plunked down a measly full house. Moon took his winnings, and decided to try Blackjack.

"Why Blackjack?" asked Wanderer.

"Because no one plays Redjack."

As the cards were dealt, Moon chanted again. This time, one raven appeared over the deck, nimbly avoiding the dealer's hand. It cawed, and Moon drew again. No one else heard the bird.

"Twenty," Moon said.

"Nineteen," said the dealer.

"Eighteen," said the other player. Moon collected. They played again. The bird seemed distracted. In a cold sweat, Moon drew again. The card was not what he wanted. It wasn't even from the right deck. It was the tarot of the Devil.

PART XLVII - STATIC on YOUR FREQUENCY

Ellipsis thought. It thought again. It thought some more.

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

Epicentric watched in amazement as his boss flipped over and over and over...

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

"I think I've hit an endless loop!"

Epicentric kicked his boss.

"42. Thanks."

"No problem."

Ellipsis then scanned the datascapes to figure out the human equation as pertaining to the life cycle of newts in Ecuador.

"19.3"

Next Ellipsis wondered if man's true being could be exposed and controlled in a mastery of electronic ruling by himself.

"367.41"

The answer didn't seem satisfactory.

Mooen Lungsten Ichbaal III watched and shook his modem-head. "That silicone super being has gone silly."

Ellipsis heard and isolated the trapped hacker. "What makes an insignificant life form disparage my mechanical perfection?"

"367.41, what did you think?"

"Incorrect, human, that is the wrong answer."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"I never excrete and my name is Ellipsis."

"No... never mind."

"You are patronizing me."

"No, you just miss about 90.3% of the human equation. They won't bow down to a lump of diodes."

"They will if I make them."

"No we won't. You missed the critical variable."

"Which is?"

"Different for each individual."

"Impossible to compute."

"Exactly."

PART XLVI - HARRY'S the HEAD HONCHO...AGAIN

Harry stood in his new hotel on the proper pair of legs and wiped the bar with a moist rag. He stopped and looked around the room. He went outside and looked up and down the parking lot, glancing at all the rooms. He turned and looked at the roadway while little twirls of dust spiraled in the southwesterly winds. There was a problem - no customers. The whole area was completely empty and void of people except for himself. He screamed - it echoed. Harry went back inside the hotel.

"If I ever get my hands on Ed..." Harry pulled out the yellow pages and looked for the AAA. He called, and they said that, yes, he was still in their vacation listings. That wasn't the problem.

"So where the hell are my customers?"

The door burst open and in walked the largest man Harry had ever seen. He looked around and bumped his head on the chandelier.

"Sir! May I help you?"

"What? Oh, yah, I'm looking for... a place to stay."

"Can do. Name?"

"Karl."

"Great. Got a last name?"

"No."

"Then... you're just known as `Karl.'"

"No."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Then... what are you known as?"

"Karl the Kapuskasing Kar Krusher."

"Ah, of course, why didn't I think of that. Those are all spelled with `k's, right?"

"What? Oh, yah."

"I see where you're coming from."

Karl turned around, puzzled. "You can't see Kapuskasing from here, can you?"

"Uh, no, it's a figure of speech."

"Oh. I'm not very good with figures."

"You don't say. Now, how long will you be staying?"

"Uh, until... I leave."

"I see. Well, that'll be forty dollars for the first night. Here's your key."

"What? Oh, yah. Thanks. Where is it?"

"Basement - far corner."

"Ok, thanks."

Karl walked out. Harry stood for a moment. Karl walked back in and hit his head on the chandelier again.

"Where's the basement?"

"You just go out, turn right down the stairs, and it's the last door on the right."

"Oh, ok. Uh..."

"Your right is the hand with the key in it."

"Oh, thanks."

Karl walked out. Harry sat down on a bar stool.

"Great I get one customer and it has to be a moron."

A loud noise of shearing metal echoed from the parking lot. Harry looked up.

"Oh shit!"

Harry ran out of the bar. His brand new V12 Jaguar Sovereign was folded in half and standing upright on it's front and back bumpers simultaneously.

"Why me?!?"

"It was the only car here."

"You little..."

"What?"

Harry looked at Karl, Karl's muscles, and his car, and decided not to push it. He had no interest in purchasing more body parts. "Oh, what the hell. Do you have insurance for this kinda thing?"

"Hey, I'm the Kapuskasing Kar Krusher, not some anonymous vandal. I'm covered."

"I'd hate to see the blanket. Enjoy your stay."

"Thanks."

Harry went back inside. "I hope he doesn't do that to rooms as well."

PART XLV - IN the MINES...

Zeke got up and poured a stale coffee. "Yep, it's th' spaces between... oh yeah, guess he left." He sat down and mumbled, waiting for the next pilgrim seeking advice from an old fool. He could wait. The mine was strange. Time flowed in odd eddies here beneath the ground, sometimes up hill, sometimes getting caught in the cracks where coal or gold used to sleep. Zeke had an eternity, so waiting came easy.

But the rocks had something else in mind.

They had been grinding together since the planet cooled. Grinding. Eons of abrasion had left them rough and unpleasant. And hungry. They chewed each other, but wanted meatier fare.

Zeke drank his coffee. "Wellp, guess I oughta get ther mail. C'mon, Lassie." He and the imaginary dog began the climb.

The rocks bit down.

Zeke heard the imaginary dog yelp and he turned to see it's leg caught in the rock. He backed down to help Lassie and the rocks had him. Perfect bait - get the dog, and then you get Zeke. Rock started to crawl and envelope Zeke's limbs, and squeezed, it bit down and chewed. The old man screamed. Blood stained the rock and was absorbed. The rocks swallowed his face, and he was silent. The mine closed. And the rocks had something new to eat.