tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89263002782946096742011-11-27T20:37:26.642-05:00A Serialized Novel with a new chapter posted weekly! Follow a tour-de-force satire that contains a cast of thousands in this modern day portrayal of a world gone slightly mad when the physics of time and space start to come apart.CWBorysowich & KDAmeryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13512353659215398210noreply@blogger.comBlogger811100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8926300278294609674.post-15848717383041704002011-10-23T23:28:00.001-04:002011-10-23T23:28:40.177-04:00

"Georgie, are the twist engines recurled yet?" ~No, Captain,~ came the disembodied reply. ~We seem to have a super-space reinforcement wave surrounding the engines keeping them from recurling.~ "Meaning..." ~We're going to have straight engines for a while yet.~ "Wonderful," said Captain Poopdeck. "Even in space we get homophobia. Where is Commander Biker?" "Checking for where-when anomalies

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Lickin' Linda Lovelace was attacked by Exhaustion. "Lawrence, Lawrence, get this madman off me!" Lawrence rolled his eyes individually down an alley and kicked the interloper's brains out. They ended up in the delicatessen mentioned last part. Not to be anti-semitic, of course; just disgusting. Thought you'd like to know. But we digress, eh? "Sandwich?" offered Linda. "No - sand in my eye."

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"I can't see it!!!" "Bring over that flashlight Beepo." "This one?" "Uhh, Yeah Rudolf will do - how did we end up with a reindeer?" "There it is over there... Bring the nose in a little closer... I think I know what it is... Justa little closer... And a bit closer... A bit OH SHIT!!" "Way to go Bob - you lost the reindeer in that vortex." "I almost had it." "What - what did you almost have

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Back of a bar, sometime before closing. The CD changer was skipping over ultimately forgettable tunes, and the ceiling fans stuttered. A bar tender cleaned glasses he had cleaned half a dozen times already. Sitting in the back, nursing an hours old drink on the brink of death. Hang in there. We all have to die, but hang in there as long as you can. He started to speak. No one listening. "Y'know

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Our Shrink sat in his office. Stella the Mannequin from Macy's lay on his couch staring at the ceiling with her arms outstretched in an unnatural pose. "So what do you think of the Cleveland Indians this year?" The Mannequin lay on the couch without moving. "Do you still think that your sister is dead?" The mannequin rolled off of the couch and thudded on the floor causing an arm to fall off.

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The unfortunate subject of this case study has, until very recently, led a hopelessly normal life. This all changed last Thursday, when he went to lunch at Butterworth's, on the ninetieth floor of the Rockefeller building. He was preoccupied with the effects of a new tax upon his hobby of collecting rare stamps in holograph when he tripped on the strap of a woman's handbag, crashing into a table

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"Hmmm... Amino Acids... Poly Peptides... DNA... A smidgeon of guacamole... And... Now where did that damn alligator go?" Dr. Albert L. was hunched over his checker board and had almost made a stunning discovery, except for the fact that L. wasn't really a doctor. He'd received his degree from a mail order contest and had no background in any academic pursuit. Just the same, L. was an inventor.

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Moon Runner turned to Roger. "Have you any ideas?" "Yeah, I think Jeffrey Chaucer was plaigerising a guy named Willie, and I think there's something real strange about the phone number for Term Night Realtors, and I think The Flatulent Fellows are just a flash in the pan compared to Arglbargl's Armpit Orchestra. Why?" "I mean about how to get down." "Oh..." Just then, a cocktail waitress

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Roger and his new friends walked back to the front of the library, and he led them to another row. They passed Martin Luther King Jr. reading up on some rice pilaf recipes. Tommy Pynchon sat sifting through the last hundred years of statistics generated on the efficiency of the US postal service. Copernicus read with fascination of quartz watches; on his lap was a treatise on the Oort Cloud. Tex

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The Dark One sat tapping his fingers on the obsidian slab which was his desk. "Why don't you tell me about these things? You project some chestless chick this ring and you don't even mention it!" "I forgot about it." "Forgot? This is like forgetting to put away the self destruct control when you have the suicide club in for tea on your interstellar battle cruiser. You're going to have to

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Nameless One Jr and the GEM OF KARNATH (another belt of stirring music) delved ever deeper into the caverns of Mars, searching for The Nameless One. The rock arched and molded overhead, dripping down in stalactites and vaulting high above into caverns no human had ever seen. "So, your Dad, what's he look like?" "Well, he's real big..." "I imagined he would be." They wandered even deeper and

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Harry sat on a rock near the smoldering ruin of the Roach Motel. A pile of Kleenex boxes sat too his left and a mound of soaking wet paper sat to his right. Harry sobbed and mumbled continuously. "I was a contender... I coulda been somebody... I had a chance to win the Motel Proprietor of the Year Award. But now this black mark on my record will ruin me... I have nothing left, but a pile of wood

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Linda didn't like it. "It's too biiiig!" "Biiiig, biiig, ....." said the echo. "But, Milady," said Balldrip, "it's the most lavish residence in..." "Shut up you cadaver. Do you realise how many people I'm going to have to wipe out to fill this place with blood?! Hmm, sounds like fun..." A Servant popped in. "Is her Majesty back? I thought I heard her come in." Linda turned, flashing an evil

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Ellipsis gave Epicentric a string of twelve inter-related endless loops to chew on; he wanted at least half a minute to try a few things out. He racked up the assault software and accessed the Net. Mortal humans thought cyber space was a science fiction invention, a pipe dream of the technological alarmists if they thought about it at all. They were wrong. All around Ellipsis were the nodes of

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The New Messiah puzzled long and hard about how to produce a religion that would liberate humanity rather than enslave it. As time went by, he grew desperate, for he could find no solution, and his existence depended on success - after all, being a Messiah would be meaningless without having something to save the faithful for. But he could find nothing. Finally, before despair could take him

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Sacman sat in his office, with his feet up on the desk so that his shoes were visible. Surrounding him were some of his most trusted men, many of them with 95% or more of their body already embroidered. "Well boys, VelcroVice and HomeSpun Homicide have teamed up to try and strike hard into our territory," stated Sacman. The thugs started to laugh, but a hush fell over the room as Sacman's shoes

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Rob Smith peeked around the corner. Good, the coast was clear. He ran down the hall, spine tingling as if it expected to be hit with... Rob didn't want to think about what. Ever since those two morons stopped trying to drive each other batty and fixated on him as the cause of all their little irritations, Rob's life had been a living hell. It had seemed like a neat idea at the time. Introducing

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Raquel and the Phoenix just stood there, glaring at Ed's after image in the casino of the Burning Sands Hotel. "God Damn, we almost had him!" she screamed. "Screaming was a reasonably inappropriate reaction to that, don't you think Raquel?" questioned the Phoenix. "So, what do you care?" "Well, for one thing, I'm planning on living for quite some time, and I figured it would be kinda nice to

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It was the big day. The Dark One was Finally to go to court for one of his teenage pranks as a wizard. Skippy nervously sat at the head of the prosecution desk, representing the Queen as a kitten and wondering what he might get turned into for crossing the Dark One, whose power had greatly increased since last week. In the defense chair sat the Dark One, sucking up all the light from that side

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Harry was sobbing on his bar. He stopped, looked out at his brand new car and continued sobbing harder. A car pulled into the parking lot and up to the front doors. It was an old hearse with spiked hubcaps, a ramming beam on the front, a pair of 60mm Gatling guns on the front hood and a SA-7 rocket launcher on the roof. Two .50 caliber machine guns hung down from the front bumper. Harry sat up

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Balldrip grunted as he dragged his burden into the rooms. "I have done your bidding, Mistress," he wheezed. "Good, good, put it up there," Linda pointed to her bed. "Then run out and acquire a circular saw blade." "Right away." Balldrip hoisted Mother Superiority Complex's bathtub onto the bed, then leaped out the window. "Good," she crooned to The Ring of Tuth the Whacko. "Now all we need is

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Ellipsis turned the electronic cage over in its memory banks, investigating the edges and nuances of his prisoner. Mooen Lungsten Ichbaal III looked out at Ellipsis and prepared all his virus protections. Somehow, he didn't think those would do the trick. "What do you think you're trying to do with those toy defenses?" "I dunno, make a pretty picture?" Ellipsis ran a check though its archives

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The bell rang, and a hush fell over the crowd. The cameras zoomed in on the opponents as they approached the center of the celestial ring. They sat down and started to stare. New Messiah got in the first shot. "Is God dead? Or is He just on vacation?" "Vacation." "Is He reachable?" "On occasion." "Has anyone beeped Him to say how fucked up everything is?" "No. It's not His concern." "Tres

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The scene got ugly. At first, the worst anyone had to worry about was a rusty crochet needle. But soon, people where getting carbon fibres woven over their ventricles. The police started hassling kevlar addicts, thinking they were trying to become invincible terrorists. Fashion designers eyed certain people's skin with undisguised predatory hunger. Tattoo shops started arming, threatening

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Ed raised his gun. "No body come any closer!" The security guards dropped behind the tables and tipped them over, forming shields. Wanderer, Music Man, and Moon Runner just looked around. Wanderer said, "Ed, what the fuck are you doing?" "Protecting my interests. Get down, you moron, there's going to be shooting!" "That's another thing," said Wanderer, "where did you get those guns?" "I

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Roger Harpell collected his notebooks and set off in what he hoped was a southerly direction from the Entry Cathedral. His précis for his thesis was due in three weeks, and so far the library at school was missing more pages than it had. According to a scrap of printout he'd found in the kitchen, this house had a well stocked library... somewhere. Down a narrow hallway were several doors on both

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At a little known religious retreat in Peru, a new face had appeared on the scene. A face of caring and unsuppressed compassion. It was Licking Linda Lovelace the... Theologian? Lawrence looked about the courtyard, then up at the lady on his back. "Look, lady, I've heard of trick riding, but this takes the hay bale." Linda slid off, a crease of puzzlement the size of the grand canyon marring

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Nameless One Jr wandered through the tunnels, looking at the rocks and whistling `Download' by Skinny Puppy. He stopped when he saw a group of small green balls bouncing up and down on the rocks, slowly digging a new tunnel. "Have any of you seen my father?" The chief ball bounced over to him. "What's his name?" "He doesn't have one." "No one with no name around here. Get lost, kid." He went

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Barreling down an abandoned highway, Bob, Neils, and Beepo could hear their stomachs growling over the lost muffler on their 1957 Nash Rambler. Beepo was glancing over a tourist map and mentioned that a French restaurant was up ahead. "What's it called?" asked Bob. "Chez Quickies - Le McDonald's du France." "Sounds... fast," said Niels. "There it is. Let's check it out." They pulled into the

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Franz Kafka, Plato, Bore Us Yeltsin, A Dork Hitler, Muamar Hussein Geddoffme, Karl "Average" Marks, and Jean Jacques Rousseau sat at the round oak table. All had voiced their grievances about the state of current world politics and felt that the future decline of "government" as we know it was imminent. The Dark One and the AI's rejoiced. Kafka broke into the mutter with "But it's just a

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"You were right," said Dark One. "It worked!" "Who was right?" "Y... never mind. Now I have him!" "Not yet. You have to follow through." "That's in golf, moron." "Golf, tennis, and life. What moron?" Dark One growled. "He'll cut his losses if you don't keep the pressure up." "How?" The scene in the casino froze. "Moon Runner knows you're after him now, right?" "Presumably." "What will

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Wanderer wandered over to the band. "You guys wanna start playing something? This dead thing's getting old." The band leader looked up and tried to respond, but the noose around his neck got in the way. He reached up and tried to loosen it, without success. "Allow me, kimo sabe." Moon Runner threw a tomahawk at it, cutting the rope and dropping the singer to the floor. He horked and rubbed his

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Ellipsis thought. It thought again. It thought some more. "I think I've hit an endless loop!" Epicentric watched in amazement as his boss flipped over and over and over... "I think I've hit an endless loop!" "I think I've hit an endless loop!" "I think I've hit an endless loop!" "I think I've hit an endless loop!" "I think I've hit an endless loop!" "I think I've hit an endless loop!" "I

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Harry stood in his new hotel on the proper pair of legs and wiped the bar with a moist rag. He stopped and looked around the room. He went outside and looked up and down the parking lot, glancing at all the rooms. He turned and looked at the roadway while little twirls of dust spiraled in the southwesterly winds. There was a problem - no customers. The whole area was completely empty and void of

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Zeke got up and poured a stale coffee. "Yep, it's th' spaces between... oh yeah, guess he left." He sat down and mumbled, waiting for the next pilgrim seeking advice from an old fool. He could wait. The mine was strange. Time flowed in odd eddies here beneath the ground, sometimes up hill, sometimes getting caught in the cracks where coal or gold used to sleep. Zeke had an eternity, so waiting

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It was a sad day for the disciples. They had been so far apart all their lives. But here they were for the funeral of their compatriot, Doc Skuppernung. It seemed like the only reason they could get together was to say goodbye. Nothing could keep them together for more than two hours; they were too different, too much at odds. It wasn't the fact that all had a different story, but that they all

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The Nameless One jr hopped on the street car with about fifty green fuzzy men. The car started along the Martian Canal. "Where to, kid?" the driver telepathed. "Uh, the place where... where my father is..." "And where might that be?" "Don't you know?" "Maybe. Does he have a name?" "No." "Right, kid. What's your name?" "I don't have one... cos, I'm the Nameless One jr." "I see. Dad would

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Thunder roared. Lightning flashed. The castle shook and groaned in the storm. Everything was black. The Dark One rummaged through the drawer. "The Thousand Hells of Mein Kampf, where did I put those damn matches?! Of all the times for the power to go out..." From the darkness a voice asked, "Why does the Dark One need matches?" "Because I can't see..." "Hmmm. The Dark One can't see in the

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The Messiah's glared at each other, refusing to blink. The New Messiah said, "I've got you now." He grew a third eye in the middle of his forehead. "That's good, now you've got three eyes you have to keep from blinking. Give it up, kid. The tricks won't work." "Really? And on the second day, God created laughing gas." A thick vapor filled the air between them. "Old hat, kid. I'm immune." "Why

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Roger and Amber left the house; she made him go in the trunk for a pile of newspapers. Still dripping, he squished into the front seat and they left. Once back at the apartment, Roger ran for the shower before the stench made him throw up. Too late. He had his shower, leaving the mess for one of the Supremes to clean up. Later that afternoon, he sat down and read the inheritance letter again.

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Kdamery pondered their purpose, and it vexed him. Their direction was no longer a mystery, but a deeper question buzzed in his brain; not where they were going, but why they were going there. Turning to the second Supreme, he asked, "Do you often think of Klaus?" "Noo... No I don't... Why?" "Boy, you handle a segue well." Eat Ham and Cheese On Rye without Mustard! "I try my best..." "Sure,

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Buzzing, always buzzing, it drilled into his head, never relented. the pounding, driving buzzing, buzzing... "Hey, relax, that's what you get when you're a mosquito." "But you can stop can't you... You're worse than a bad radio transmission!" "Bug brain, it's what we do! We buzz, that's what happens when our wings move, and there's no way around it. The only way not to buzz is to pull your

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The engine screamed as they drove through the desert. The Wanderer winced as the noise pierced his skull. Glancing at the speedo, he double-took. "Hey, Ed!" he screamed over the engine's howl. "How come we're only doin’ thirty?" "I dunno. Lessee, parking brake's not on... say, what's this stick with the numbers do?" "Push it and see what happens!" Ed pushed the shift into fourth gear, and the

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Yawning, Roger Harpell climbed the trellis to his twenty second floor apartment for the third time that morning. He tossed the mail on the end table and went to the kitchen sink. A splash of cold water cleared his eyes and thoughts. In a precarious state of consciousness, he poured a cup of coffee and picked up the mail. Phone, lights, rent. If he joined now, he could take a cruise in the south

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"We need bigger mugs if we're gonna get the water out of this stupid thing!" exclaimed George Washington, "And those damn cruise missiles have joined a friggin' air show." The crew nodded and went about their business, ignoring the Captain's orders as best they could. That business largely consisted of organising tours of the Iowa for local fish. George climbed onto the big guns. "Those damn

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Barbie stood on top of Wendle's gut in her spike shoes. "Take the rest of the beach if you like, but this one's mine." The Aussie Surfin’ Babes rolled their eyes. "Look Sheila, you don't even want the mate. You was cursin’ his guts when we arrived." "So? It's the principle of the thing." "Can I get up?" Wendle asked. "No!" they all said at once. "You will stay there until this is finished,

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Floyd and Pinkie sat in the stands waiting for the horse jumping to start. Clutched in their fists were the bets that would make them potential millionaires. Unbeknownst to them, their sweat was seeping into the paper... Meanwhile, Bob and Niels nervously awaited the arrival of Beepo the Suicidal Clown. The horse jumping was to take place over the centre of the Warp; they didn't want to guess

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"Damn it! These stupid things always go stale as soon as their out of the friggin' bag." "What, pretzels?" "Those too. No, these faiths. Start one up and bam! Some fucking capitalist turns it into a circus. Lookit the trouble I had with the moneychangers, and the Vatican's art collection, and Jimmy Bakker, and..." "Aw, come on... The dancing bears on Swaggart weren't that bad! That was almost

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Two androids sat at a synthetic table and argued about their differing results on the composition of a bowl of turnips. The door fell off it's hinges causing both of the droids to glance over with a passable imitation of boredom. Outside was a T69 depth charge robot in the midst of a mid-life crisis. "Alright sentients, I have to test my systems. Spread your lower appendages!" The androids

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Raquel spent the night curled up in the corner across from Sven and his grunting bison. She kept her eyes closed, but the sounds invaded her thoughts and dreams. When she awoke, she was sore and stiff; so were her room mates. It was still early in the morning and the sun hadn't risen yet. The cell was cold and clammy like the stares of the other inmates. She was scared, tired and somehow knew

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The Wanderer woke. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up. Looking over, Ed was dead asleep. Wanderer got up and pulled the curtains open. Bright sun flooded into the room and Ed started to stir. "What da fuck... Close the damn curtains." "It lives! Where the hell did you sneak off to last night?" "Had to run a small errand." Wanderer opened up the door and picked up the complimentary newspaper to see a

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Queen Elizabeth stalked the corridors of Buckingham Palace, looking for mice. A ruckus erupted behind her, and she ducked behind a suit of armour to avoid being played with by Prince Edward and ?????? Prince Charles burst out calling, "Mumsy... Oh Mumsy... Oh there you are. I need some help picking out a suit to wear to the poetry reading tonight." "Would you quit being such a mama's boy and

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Lovely Lumpy Linda Lonely sat in the corner, the Ring of Tuth the Whacko gleaming evilly on her finger. Her soul succumbed to the ring's evil with no fight. Eric paced the other side of the room, trying to find a bright side. "Vell, dear its vonderful you have such ambition now. Still, I zink sacrificing a million mortals is a bit..." "Shut up, you twit." Her voice was deep and menacing. Eric

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KDAmery and CWBorysowich stood around their one to one scale model of eternity. KDAmery took the Arrow of Time and lined it up with Alpha Centigrade. "Betcha a dozen ion clusters I can get this into Rob Smith's armpit." "Puhhh, Let's up the stakes a bit. 3 cans of Ready Whip says that you can't get the arrow to split his knee cap." "Ignore the arrow, willya? I'm using it to shoot the star into

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Harry sat on the remains of his sign as the workers rebuilt his hotel. Waiting. He hated sitting around, but there was fuck-all else to do while he waited for his new legs to arrive. "No, no, no, you idiots, the bar is supposed to be horizontal!" The workers ignored him, and he thought of all kinds of things he'd like to do to them. Most required the help of the Secret Assassin, however, and

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Three kids sat huddled around a small pit in the driveway, shooting marbles. They each missed, but with nine shots in their automatics, they had plenty of ammunition to hit those pesky pieces of glass. All would have been well, had the slugs not ricocheted into their dad's car. "Uh-oh," they said in perfect synchronicity. Ms. Vickers walked around the corner, saw the boys, and started to shake

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Lawrence the Arabian opened his eyes and saw horseshoes. Pushing his stall door open, he cantered out to the paddock to find a trainer, or a groom, anyone who could relieve him of this over-enthusiastic hoofwear. There was no one around. "Dammit, don't tell me they fell down that space warp again." Bursting through the time space continuum, ushered by several flares and shrink wrapped

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Muriel skidded her Monte Carlo SS to a stop. "Dusted that fucker. Teach him to race an old lady." Sitting at the red light, she revved the 450 cubic inch two stroke V8 with competition headers, radical cams, and high compression pistons. The roars could be heard in Connecticut as blue smoke filled the intersection. The Nameless One Jr. turned around in his seat. "Grandma, you're burning oil." "

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A rag tag group of people gathered outside the Addiction Research Foundation to meet a small group of perplexed scientists. "You are addicted to what?" "Burlap, man, I need musty burlap! Got any?" "Yeah," said a second addict, "the older the better." "It would seem that they are addicted to burlap." "Not just burlap," said the lead scientist. "Musty burlap!" "How do you take this stuff?" "

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Monty and Albert were shaped much like screws. Their internal organs had lost all coherence, and most resembled oatmeal. The chunky parts were probably bones. In the center of the room was a large ball of scales. Two different patterns were visible, but other than that, it looked like a luggage maker's idea of a medicine ball. Now that they had killed off each other's masters, the battle royale

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She just sat on her knees and stared into the darkness. The rain continued to fall and stream across the window like the blood of an Anaconda. Her spirits were shattered. The thunder crumbled from the ceiling. The one man she wanted was right there for twenty seconds and then he was gone. Her life was pitiful. Raquel forced herself to stand. She wasn't sure if it was the insanity of existence or

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The Wanderer sat on the curb, head in hands. Behind him was KKK-Mart, where every day is a white sale. Edward D. Head stood over him, saying, "They've got a good price on sheets. What's wrong?" "Do you realize how hard it is to find a good travelling mattress with a triangular head section? Get real, Ed. What's the D. stand for again?" "I'd rather not say. So what are we gonna do now?" "Dunno.

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"Without it, we'd be too big to be born." "No, I tend to disagree, KDAMERY, There are some definite possibilities in the human species for external cultivation of the unborn child and even the development of large eggs for the simple purpose of extending the gestation period of a typical child by approximately 25 years." "What, sort of like vegetable gardens?" "No it's much more complex than

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The USS Iowa opened fire on New Orleans. George Washington looked on with pride as yet another jazz bar bit the dust. Now he was aiming toward the French Quarter and shuffled his hands in glee as he watched the reloading of the cruise missiles. "If Sigi Freud could only see these babies," he mused, watching a Tomahawk streak into the night, bent on destroying some over-cultured frogs. "Size and

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Doktor Skuppernung and Judas walked into The New Messiah's dressing room. "Ve have news, sir!" "Git outta here while I change, you fags!!" "But it's important!" exclaimed Judas. "Even in my undies, I doubt your belief," growled the New Messiah. The two buddies pushed back out the door and waited for umpteen hours in the dining hall. "Dun't peeple uzually dine in a dining hall?" "Yeah,"

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Linda closed the van door. Paisley reclined on the foam mattress. Linda asked, "What do you want to do now?" "I dunno." "Want to go eat?" "Sure." "What?" "Dunno." "Do you have any preference for anything?" "Not really." Linda looked at her. This girl made air look brilliant. "Want to fuck?" "Yeah." The van rolled its headlights. "Why do I have to listen to this shit?" "Well," said the

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Guido jumped his remote control Lamborghini over an electronic engineering text book just as a message dropped into the room through the PMS (Pneumatic Messaging System... what the hell did you think we meant?) and landed at his feet. Opening the tube, he pulled out a scroll with a wax seal. He placed the seal on his mantle over the fireplace with the figurines of the buffalo and the musk ox, and

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Raquel looked out her window at the rain and sighed. Her dark red hair cascaded down her shoulders as she watched water fall, fall, fall like her spirits. It was an empty world she saw. All intellect, with no passion, no soul, no raison d'etre. Her analyst said she needed to get laid. He had a predatory light in his eye when he said it; she stopped seeing him, and blocked him off her phone.

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"Soon, it will all be mine, now that that pesky Queen is out of the way. Now, where did that medicine man get to?.." Looking on the world, the Dark One received a shock. The Phoenix had arisen, young and renewed. "Of all the rotten... That feather brain is back!! The prophecy bodes ill in this matter..." Then he spied Moon and Music on the Plains of Abraham, obstructing a re-enactment of the

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Sheckkie Leibowitz stared at Rorschach's Inkblots, and his mind swam in the sea of dreams. This irritated the Inkblots to no end. "Yo, snap out of it, dude!" "Wha, wha? Oh, sorry. What were you guys up to?" "Other than listening to you quote Faust, not a whole heap. Now snap out of it will ya!" "Faust?" "Yeah, you know, the play? Skip it. Seriously, you gotta meet this chick, she's perfect

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"We're goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get stoned..." "You hiding weed or something, man?" "Hmm, Maybe... Maybe not." "An' what's with the chapel shit? You get religion or what?" "Nah, it was a Supremes thing..." "Sure. Whatever." "... The rococo design of the Hallelujah Chorus is what allowed it to continue in appreciation, especially when considered in light of the later

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Music Man held up his hands as a young Aus pointed two big forty fives and a submachine gun at his face. "I won't give you any trouble miss. Unless you want me to." "Shaddup mate." Music Man complied. Moon Runner said, "Excuse me, ladies, but your motives are a purple haze. I am not afraid to die when it is my time, but please, let us live our lives as we want to - without bullets." "Wot are

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"Geeves!... Geeves!" screamed the Queen. "Yis your feline-ship?" came the servant exhumed from the bowels of Buckingham Palace. "Stop calling me that, Geeves!" "Yis, me pussy..." "Where is that lawyer?!" "You mean Skippy?" "Get that smelly slob in here or I'll have him beheaded!" "Please remember that the Stalin days are over Liz." "Yes, well he did take care of some rather unloyal

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The Phoenix, newly reborn and totally unaware of anything, looked out from an ash covered mountain top and asked, "What am I doing HERE?" He looked on a small village in the valley and, with his wings flaming brightly, poised himself to be the symbol on Pink Floyd's mocking of the Nazi third Reich. Coiling his muscles, he launched into the air... ... And sank like a stone. "Great, what'd I do

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As the Music Man sat watching one of the new Billy Bob Shakespeare plays with a sheepish grimace on his face at the orchestra's rendition of "So You Bought A Cadillac," he saw the light come up on Prospero's cell, and the violent entrance of Lickin' Linda Lovelace the... Thespian? with her opening lines: "If by your bulging part, my fiercest father, you have put the wild waters in his roar, play

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The Holy Ghost adjusted the scale. "Even weights. This'll be a close match, boys." The Old Messiah and the New Messiah glared into each other's eyes. "Goood." They went into their dressing rooms. The New Messiah started flipping through last year's criminal code from Follicle, New Jersey. "Hey, no lex before a fight!" said his trainer, and the Newfie put away the book. The Old Messiah looked

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Oliver North, his Lawyer, Ma Bell, and Pa Bell all said, "I hate bagels!" at the same instant, though separated by vast distances, thus setting some sort of record. Guinness was not amused. Oliver North and his Lawyer stood in BeckersTM saying, "No further comment!" to a raving Pict named Hafenvlaader. The store owner screamed, "Yoo Lackies gut oot of my stoore!" Hafenvlaader owned this store

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The Dark One watched with trepidation as Moon Runner foiled the ISO attempt at capture. "Hmmm, the prophecy grows nearer. I've got to get that Indian and wipe him clean off the universe..." The Dark One then eyed a small ring on his left pinkie (The Dark One was just that way - not that there's anything wrong with... yeah, whatever), and rubbed the inset gem three times with a hank of fur from

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{Another Author's Note: Everyone doesn't really start here. I mean, come on, folks. You looked at the character list, right? Let me tell ya, bud, trying to fit all those people into one narrative is bad enough. You want us to put them all into one part? Hah! You'll see that right around the time you see Michael Jackson as President - maybe not even then. I repeat, not everyone starts here. We

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Something was different. Everything looked the same, but something was different. It was like being trapped in someone else’s stale breath, but different. A change was coming - big change - not obviate events foreseen by Nostradamus, Jules Vern, or even Jojo - heck, any slope headed newt would have seen that stuff coming. The coming events were bigger than all of them put together - as if you

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Starting on August 7th 2009, we will be launching the first chapter of our serialized novel: “The Plot to End All Plots”. Enter the modern day world as it suffers from a few physics glitches in time and space that are starting to spiral out of control and threaten to collapse the universe. Even the authors themselves get caught up with the characters in a mayhem of satire and the forces of Good

CWBorysowich & KDAmeryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13512353659215398210noreply@blogger.com0